What do you do when you’re sick? For me, I went to the doctor and he said what was and was not wrong with me, and that was that. When I didn’t get better I would see another doctor and do this same routine. And again. And again. Slowly, I was deteriorating and I could no longer keep up with this 20 year long charade. Finally, a diagnosis, but one that comes with a twist. The insurance companies don’t have to pay and medical care, out of pocket is simply impossible.
“According to a 2014 survey of over 3,000 patients with chronic Lyme disease, 42% have stopped working due to the disease, and 25% have reduced their hours or changed their work. Patients who continue to work miss about 15 days of work per year.”(1) What do you do when you are too sick to work? When you need to move to be close to a doctor? When the bills are more than what you were making in a year before you had to leave your job to try and get better?
This was in 2016 and as you can see, I survived it, but financially we did not. There is no cost that I will not pay for my life or for that of my family, so I am not saying it wasn’t worth it, but it does add a bitter taste to my days from time to time. Now it’s 2024 and I’m back at it and going for treatment round 2. I gave you a statistic earlier, so I thought maybe I could share another one, and that is the average cost to an individual diagnosed with a tick borne illness. When I did a search I was inundated with the cost us patients have on the system rather than
the cost to individual human beings. I stopped my search. I know what I have paid, what my husband has paid, what my children have paid, what my parents/friends/church/community have paid. The costs sometimes feel like they stack on top of each other until the weight of them is crushing. Other times they feel as if they continue on and on until you believe there is no possible end. I know my story is not unique and others in my position have paid just as much, if not more, and some of course, pay with their lives.
With tick borne illness comes a life that is unique and truly only understood by those who live it. That is how it is for hardships we are all forced to face in our time here on earth. Some hardships have no silver lining, but I am lucky, because mine does. This road hasn’t been all bad. It has helped me in many ways such as realizing what really does matter in life, living my days more authentically, growing closer to God, and being able to be there for others in ways that only some have been able to be there for me. There are parts though I just can’t seem to find any good in and these things try to harden my heart. One is fearing for my life, that gets really old. Another is money, because of me and my illness my family will never know financial security. And the other is the cost of keeping my children involved in a community. I am forced to explain the complexities and private parts of my health, often to people who barely know myself or my family, in exchange for enough sympathy to allow my children to continue in their program, even when I am feeling completely sick and miserable. There is this unwritten rule in society where if you don’t look sick, then you are not sick. And that’s a shame, because it’s a terrible lie. The focus is always put on what I cannot do rather than all that I have done, and of course that my children in their very existence should really be enough. I can’t teach a class, I can’t take the kids to the camp trip, I can’t help at the event’s fundraiser booth. It’s degrading, illness is degrading, our society is not built for it.
I was not sure that I wanted to talk about my health journey now that I am going through all of this again. I was open about my health journey last time and it was incredibly difficult. But, I am already talking about it in ways that make me uncomfortable so why not talk about it with you all at Smug Dog Soaps? We all have something in our lives that is very hard to deal with, this is my story, maybe you can tell me your story?
I am always hoping and praying that this illness will one day leave my body. There is no cure for Lyme disease, so I don't know what that means for me. That, you can do nothing about. But, I am also looking for a financial miracle, and that you can help with. Rather than starting a crowdfunding page, which is something I may eventually choose to do, I wanted to try to stand on my own two legs (figuratively and literally). I am doing that by making and selling beautiful bar soaps. This post is not for everyone and that’s ok! Do you already buy soap from a small business, or are you in the same financial jam I am and simply cannot afford handmade soap, or maybe you just don’t like soap (now I’m just being silly, but you get the point). If this is you then please don’t worry about buying our soap, but also please stick around and let’s be friends. If you are not already buying soap from a small business, if you can afford to purchase handmade soap, and if you do like soap, then please consider supporting us. I am new to the world of soap making but I am quite head over heels with my soaps and I think you may enjoy them too. I also am not in this alone as Rob and the children are all in this with me, and even the dogs have joined in the fun (Marge, one of our rescues, is our logo). When you purchase soap from us you aren’t just paying my medical bills (which you are) you are supporting me having a job, and you are supporting a family who you either know or can get to know, and you are getting a great product.
If you are interested in helping but you don't want to buy soap, I have a whole list of options. Just let me know if that is something you are interested in and I will share other ways you can help.
So, that’s it folks. To wrap this up in a much shorter version …
Our soaps are not better than the rest, there are so many great soaps out there. You should consider supporting a local soap maker or a small business if you have the means to do so. If you do choose to support Smug Dog Soaps, we will be ever so very grateful! We would like to be more than just a business though, we would like to be a community and we hope in time, to get to know each and everyone of you. I will try to stay transparent with you on my health journey and I will try to be available to everyone who wants to talk about it, but sometimes I need to step back and be with my family. Thank you so much for giving your time to read my ramblings. Stay in touch and stay smug!
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